Even though I am the mother of 4 boys, I feel that there are some things that I shouldn’t have to say. When the words come out of my mouth I think, “Did I just say that?” …..but I know that if I keep quiet, if I don’t say anything all, there are risks involved. I caught myself in this situation just the other day. My son came dancing through the door bolting to the bathroom yelling “I have to go #2!!”…as he passed I said
” MAKE SURE YOU WIPE!!!!”
….really?…did I just say that?…did I really NEED to say that?
I was overcome with the “Mom intuition” that something was not right behind that closed bathroom door, so I went to investigate. Sure enough, it was reinforced that YES, I did NEED to say that. The sight was horrific. Poo all over the toilet seat, poo all over his shorts, poo all over his hands …..and to top it all off, he had lifted the toilet seat and was sitting on the toilet bowl.
“Son! What are you doing?????”
he replies, “My potty wouldn’t come out”….
(According to what my eyes were witnessing …I assure you, …..it did.)
When the boys run to take a shower I hear myself yelling “USE SOAP!” …..because the minute I don’t, they come out and I say “did you wash your hair?” …..(blank stare)…….sigh
When doing laundry I notice I’m not folding undies as often…so yet again I hear myself saying “Are you putting on fresh underwear everyday?? (cricket, cricket)…..sigh
When we are out running errands I have asked “Son, are wearing ANY underwear??”……(pin drop)……sigh
Honestly the list goes on and on…”.When’s the last time you brushed your teeth?”…..(they bolt to the bathroom)….sigh…
I lecture continually about how someday they will want a wife,…. and a girl will not want to marry a “NON teeth brushing, underwear changing, wiping, soapless, commando husband.
I do get glimmers of hope every once in a while….the other day my son came up to me and said “Mom!…smell my pits!!” (is this a trick question?)….”I washed them really good and sprayed them with two different kinds of cologne!” …..well, deodorant would have done the trick but at least he was listening to my “pit cleansing lecture” the day before….
I never DREAMED that I would be a mom to four boys. I remember when I was a little girl feeling sorry for my aunts because they all had families of boys. Sometimes I have to ask my husband, “You were a little boy once, is this normal? or do we just have gross kids?”….he laughs and assures me that its normal… (I’m still skeptical)
