My “skinny-fat” reality….

Some friends of ours (who are in super good shape) asked Ry and I if we wanted to join them for a race. Now I’m not going to lie, I was flattered…..I had a vision of myself in cute little jogging shorts and snazzy running shoes leading the team….placing a medal around my neck…people cheering…then reality hit me… I saw myself  huffing and puffing crawling after only a few minutes into the run because…well,…I’m not a runner.

 I think I put off the appearance of “in shape” because I’m tall and thin…I have legs a mile long so people just assume that these babies are made for speed…I assure you, they are not.

The truth is….I’m “skinny fat”…….for real. (I’m pretty sure that’s a real term) I AM SO OUT OF SHAPE. I get winded walking up steps. Now don’t get me wrong, I am active…for instance, if we are out boating I will jump on skis and do a couple of flips and ski toe touches….lol… but once I gracefully fall and I’m waiting in the water for the boat to pick me up….my leg muscles are in such SHOCK that the fellas pretty much have to hoist me back up into the boat…lol

So Ryan decided to accept the offer and run the big race with our friends…I declined. Its not a normal race…its one that has obstacles like swim in mud water with sharks and climb and repel off walls over barb wire and crawl under electric fences that shock you….I’m pretty sure people die in these kind of races…. I am perfectly content cheering them on from the sidelines while eating McDonalds.

Technically I race everyday….that’s right….every morning Mom and I walk on the indoor walking track at the hospital and I feel so good about myself as I lap and pass all the people…granted most of them are in their 90s walking with a cane or patients hobbling from hip replacements but lets not focus on those facts…lol

To build endurance for this big race that Ryan is training for he started P90X3. He asked me if I wanted to exercise with him….I said “SURE! It will be fun!!”…(.what was I thinking??) The first night they wanted  to evaluate how in shape I was…or wasn’t. So the first task was a pull up. Seemed easy enough, so I’m hanging on the bar and Ryan says “Lets see how many you can do…GO!”…..(nothing)…”You can start now..GO!”….(nothing)…. I’m still hanging there and respond “I AM!!!!!!”

 He laughs and says “Can you at least bend your elbows and get half way up?”….(nothing)….by this point I’m out of breath… “NO!”…..so, obviously upper arm strength isn’t my strength either…

I think today is day 5 or something (feels like day 100) and I can hardly move…my muscles are soooo sore…I have sore muscles in places that I never knew I had muscles …..good grief…

And you know,  why does everyone on the video have to be so perfect??  They should have a first timer on there along with the professionals who is huffing and puffing trying to figure out how to do the “downward dog” pose….it would make me feel way less pathetic…but no, I have to stare at “He-Woman” doing push ups with her pinkie….

So, its best to just accept my reality, and my reality is very simple….exercising is not my strength. (period)

But before you accuse me of being a lazy couch potato watching Hallmark movies everyday (I only do that Mon-Fri)…let me show you how to exercise without exercising.