…….I have been a parent long enough to know that we all have “#1 MOM” moments….in which I mean, those moments when we fail our kids. You know what I’m talking about…you have the best intentions but then you look the other way and your baby rolls off the bed…..FAIL. You let them eat something too hot and they burn their mouth…..FAIL. You look the other way for 1 min and they tumble down the stairs…FAIL. They aren’t hungry because they filled up on dog food……FAIL. Your driving down the road and your toddler says “mommy is there a police man around?” and you reply “no, why?” and he says “because I’m not buckled”….FAIL. (guilty of that last week) :/ Once while potty training my son, I accidentally let him fall all the way into the toilet hitting the water (yeah, that extended potty training an extra week or two…he was terrified)
Of course when I hear my friends telling me about their “#1 MOM” moments I’m quick to judge thinking “(gasp) I would NEVER do that…or let that happen to my child!”
We were out of town visiting family in a big town and we pulled up to the hotel to check in. Ryan went inside and I sat in the van chatting with the boys. They had unbuckled and were flopping around the seats. My husband came out and walked behind the van to talk to my mom who had parked behind us so I jumped out and we were standing behind the van trying to decide how to kill some time. I looked across a field and said “Lets just go to that Big Lots and grab some beach toys”. We jumped in the van and I said “buckle up boys” and we drove up the road and when we opened the doors to get the boys out my husband says..”Where is Liam?” I said “What do you mean?”….He had to be somewhere…laying on the floor? Maybe in the far back of the van? ….but Liam was NOT in our van. He was gone. Panic and confusion surged through my body….did someone open the door and grab him out while we were talking? Did he get out and was wondering the hotel parking lot and if so someone must have taken him by now….FEAR…I have never felt fear in such a way. I looked across the field and could see the hotel so I just took off running. I’m not a runner but with burning lungs I ran like a wild momma who lost her son. As I was running I remember talking…and begging God in my head “please God keep him safe…this can’t be happening….this can’t be the plan you have for us Lord…this can’t be happening…No! No!”…..My husband had peeled out into traffic and we reached the hotel at the same time…he ran in first and as I pushed through the doors I saw my precious little Liam standing in the lobby with one of the workers. I crumbled to the floor. I was overwhelmed with emotion. I couldn’t even function. The worker said he had wondered in (he had opened and closed the van door and then went inside “to look for daddy”) and she asked him our names but he only knew our first names and not our last so she couldn’t look us up on the computer. She was just about to take him to “retrace” his steps to see where he came from. (um, he came from a van that his parents drove away in”.
