When you live in a family of six you are never alone…..ever…..EVER….there is always someone somewhere needing something.
(Ahem….a perfect example below)
I know it sounds crazy but in my 34 years of life, I have never spent the night alone until now so I was a bit anxious when I found out that Ryan had to go out of town and the boys would be spending the night at my parents leaving me absolutely ALONE for a night. I quickly gave myself a “big girl” chat that went something like this ” You will be fine, you have just watched too many Unsolved Mystery shows…your tough, you could beat off an intruder…you will be fine”
Then the sun began to set on our back hill and darkness approached….*insert scary music now*
I turned EVERY light on in the house….I lit up our home like a lighthouse. We live in a really friendly neighborhood but that night….I might as well have been living on “Shutter Island” because that’s how it felt. lol
Now, as we all know…..if you are going to be attacked or murdered, it always happens when the woman steps out of the shower. (At least that’s how it always plays out on TV) So, I did the most sensible thing I could think of…..I found one of our cats and locked it in the bathroom with me. ( the girl cat…..not the boy cat). Cats can hear things that humans can’t so I figured maybe she would give me a “warning” meow or something. 
Luckily, I lived through my shower ( I know shocking) and as I got ready for bed I tucked both cats in bed with me for company……I was disappointed when they quickly ran away confused because normally they aren’t allowed on the bed.
Soon I drifted into a deep sleep. I couldn’t have been asleep long when I heard a loud CRASH!!!! In my subconscious sleep state I was thinking in my head ” WAKE up! That was a real noise! YOUR UNDER ATTACK!”
……….This is the point that I learned something about myself…………
I opened my eyes as wide as they could go and COULD. NOT. MOVE.
Now, we all know that you born with either a “Fight” or “Flight” mode…….but apparently there is a third category that they failed to mention….the “Freeze” mode. I fall under that category…..
I have been over this kind of scenario a million times…. in my head it goes something like this: I hear a noise, jump out of bed using graceful ninja skills with sharp night vision eyes seeking and destroying any danger that might be causing a threat to my family. (A woman version of Chuck Norris)
Nope…. I was frozen in fear trying to figure out how not to poop, pee, or puke myself…
No matter how much I wanted to move I couldn’t…..my adrenaline was pumping and I was sweating under my pile of blankets with one eye peeking over the covers. I have a lamp right next to my bed but it might as well have been a million miles away because there was no way I could move my noodle arm out of the covers to turn it on.
As time passed, I gave myself a pep talk “Ok, if someone were in the house, they would have found you by now….it sounded like the bookshelf in the corner just fell…if you would just turn on the light, you could see that’s what it was”
So, ever so slowly…. inch by inch….. I reached my shaky arm out of the covers and flipped the light on……and behold, a shelf on the bookshelf had indeed fallen…..*sigh of relief* (it just HAD to collapse on the ONE night that I was all alone)….
At least I know without a shadow of a doubt that when it comes to protecting myself…….I’m absolutely worthless.
