It’s by far the hardest job in the world. Parenting…..HARDEST. JOB. EVER. Some moments are AMAZING….but most moments are filled with second guessing yourself and hoping you know what in the heck you are doing.
Do you know how when you bring home your first child you make sure to cross every “T” and dot every “I”? If you drop the pacifier you boil and sanitize it before using it again but by time you get to your third child you just blow the pacifier off and pop it back in your baby’s mouth??? I feel that way about discipline. I invested so much more time into disciplining my first two boys than I have my last two. I can pretty much sum it up to LAZINESS. Discipline is HARD. It takes commitment AND consistency. Did I mention its hard?? HARD!…..but it is so important. Its important for their foundation…it’s important for their character….and it’s important because it shows them I love them.
A few nights ago before church I told the boys that we would go get a Frosty from Wendy’s afterwards before we went home. They were very excited. When church was over I got a report that two of my boys were not very well behaved in class. They had been disrespectful to their authority. I asked the boys about their behavior and they admitted that they did not listen to their teacher. This is where the tough part comes in. I had to find something that would impact them…something that was important to them. The Frosty. I told the boys that because of their disrespectful choices, they were not going to be rewarded with a Frosty. I drove thru Wendy’s and only bought two Frostys instead of four. TALK ABOUT HARD. One of them began to cry. As I drove them home tears fell from my eyes and I quietly cried to myself. EVERYTHING IN ME WANTED TO GIVE THEM A FROSTY……EVERYTHING! Discipline is hard.
As I tucked them into bed I asked them if they understood why they didn’t get a frosty. They did. Not getting a Frosty spoke volumes to them.
I don’t want them to “OBEY” because I told them to, I want them to obey because they know in their hearts that its the right thing to do. I don’t care about their actions as much as I care about their hearts. If I can tap into their hearts, their actions will follow. I want to know “what” in their hearts made it ok to shrug off authority.
I want them to grow to be men of good character. Do I want them to be perfect? Nope. We all fall and fail everyday…..but what I do want is for them to recognize when their behavior is not OK and to have empathy for those that it effected. It starts with the heart. A person’s life is a reflection of his heart.
I used a Frosty to help them see that.
